I feel rather Shakespearean when I utter these words to no one in particular, an ageing actor pacing the stage connecting with their audience. Arms outstretched and with a deep baritone theatre voice I dramatically flail about my lounge room rueing the lost moments of the winter gone by. My winter of discontent.
I took time away to re-evaluate my life, my purpose and try understand the madness of this world around me. To be honest I was rather fried by it all , mentally cooked. Politics, global madness, mean spirited people, dodgy priests, white supremacists, our dying planet, struggling animals facing extinction , everywhere were stories and images of sadness and hopelessness. I felt too old and tired to be an activist so simplifying life seemed to be the way forward. So like an angry grizzly black bear I retreated to my cave to hibernate and roll up in a big furry ball and wait until the hope of spring thawed my heart.
The problem with this totally rationale hibernation theory is that life is for living, I also have to earn a living and I had stuff to do. But meanwhile back in the cave ..........
After two years writing my book I had got to the end game. #TheSuitcase manuscript was now complete , so for me personally the hard part was about to start . So I packed the crisp white pages held together with a big black clip neatly away and it came to rest in the cave with me. I no longer had the urge to write , even my brilliantly insightful daily ramblings stopped. The desk by the window was now a junk table a constant reminder of things I was going to do.
During this winter of discontent I was also restricted and halted by some painful back issues so I really embraced feeling sorry myself and sooking about that. Between Drs and hospital appointments who had time to write and create, or so I told myself. The funny thing is you begin to value things you once had, freedom of movement, a thinking mind, an observant eye and with that eye I saw a sad glimpse that my winter of discontent would be spreading to spring and summer if I didn't make a move to change my thinking. Roaring out of my cave I stretched my hands above my head, shaking the inertia I slowly limbered up my tired body.Clearing the junk from my table I noted that during my exile the orchids had bloomed, the grass had grown, politics still sucked, and I still had a big to do list. I ignored that for a moment.
I decided to change caves and booked myself a holiday to Vanuatu, time to defrag the brain and recharge in a positive way.I booked in for hydrotherapy to get the body doing what it should. I revisited some old workbooks to get this book out there into the universe.I dusted off the manuscript and know I have a story to tell , it is time to tell it. I brought this page back to life to keep me accountable and set intention, without that I will just float along.
Big plans for the coming year and I shall keep you updated, I have set both the vision and intention and I am just a little excited.But first a quiet beach, sunshine , friendship and laughter awaits.
And so ends the winter of my discontent.
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