I have not taken the time to write for such a long time. This chapter of my life is now closing and I am happy to spend my days in the autumn sun living life. I am taking the time to close all social media around writing as I embrace the wonderful stage of my life called self indulgence. I am not meaning that to sound smarmy or gloaty but the realisation that I owe no one nothing and nothing to no one is quite freeing. These days I run my own race whether it be fast paced or lazy and sloth like. This is once a life I looked on enviously at others living and rest assured I am at all times immensely grateful and awestruck that this is now my life and my choice.
I have worked hard for this life of simple gentleness and I intend to embrace every moment. From long walks to nowhere, to chainsawing trees, redesigning gardens, road trips with friends , discovering things new and interesting, my days are a blur of living life.
I recently went on a random road trip with a dear friend , we have decided each quarter to go somewhere random and become local tourists. We visited the Wimmera region and followed the Silo art trail, eating scrumptious food along the way and just enjoying the warmth and conversation these small towns offer. Whilst visiting the amazing Stick Shed in Murtoa I noted we were one of many visitors of our "vintage" who were out exploring life. The thing I love about these adventures is everyone is up for a chat and living life at such a gentle pace. Time has no consequence it just rolls along. What a luxury that is.
I have also spent a lot of time with my grandchildren doing fun things. When I worked I was always so exhausted I never managed to just be in their presence. Grandchildren or young people are a fountain of interesting conversations, highly amusing and also allow us to indulge our inner child. From decadent brunches , rocking out at music concerts, walking the silly little fat dog, to chilled out walks along the beach, these days and times are about creating memories. These are such precious moments to me.
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So the computer sits forlorn in the office I spent months creating , with all the gidgets and gadgets I thought I would need for my writers life. I seem to have no stories in me and no real desire to put in the work of creating one, is that a bad thing I wonder ? is it lazy? I have learnt to let go of the guilt and expectation these days and I don't need to prove anything to anyone but myself. It seems that being in such a place of simple joy has diminished my creative mind , I do not feel the need to revisit sadness or other times. They have made me who I am and now is the time to reap the rewards of life.
As such - as I get busy living, this will be the last blog I write as I close down this site. I want to thank all who have read my ramblings and supported me in my writing adventure. What started as many journals of writing random thoughts created my book The Suitcase and for that I am eternally grateful. I have put that life to bed now which has allowed me to heal and be in this gentle place. I truly understand I am one of the lucky ones and I am forever conscious of that and I continue to work behind the scenes and advocate on the issue of domestic violence and support of women.
May you all have the opportunity in life to allow yourself to live a gentler, kinder, simpler life. Sometimes putting ourselves first is not an act of selfishness it is an act of wisdom having learnt the lessons of life along the road we travel.
A reminder that sometimes BEING THERE is the most underestimated of human qualities, you may never know who needs a kind word or a warm smile.
May the road always lead you home
Much love and thanks
au revoir
Jan
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