A GAME OF PATIENCE

I am patiently awaiting the proof copy of my book  The Suitcase which should arrive this week. In the meantime my work desk is sitting quietly  and a jumble of thoughts and words are waiting for another story. Did I actually say another story! I have been rather lost lately not having something to focus on and work towards. Writing my memoir was a four year  on and off process , it gave me something to work on, some form of discipline. I am actually missing sitting down and finding words. I have made some notes for  a fiction novel which will be my next challenge, however I can't seem to move on until I actually see the fruits of my labour and hold my book  in my hands. Patience has never been my strong point I like to see things happening , on the upside I am a fan of process so I am happy to follow that and not cut corners. I daydream  what the book will look like, will it have crisp white pages, I bet they will  smell all new and fresh. Will it look like I imagined . I shall know soon enough and can not wait to share it with you all. It is amazing to think this all started when I headed to the wonderful Golden Door health retreat on a writing workshop weekend many years ago. It was such an indulgent thing to do but something I needed , all the signs were leading me there and I love a good sign . I had been left some money by my mother and she wished me to do something for myself. Having been a long time writer of journals and daily ramblings I thought it  may be fun  to just explore my hobby for my own purposes and amusement. A book was never in the picture. NEVER. However after some grand epiphanies ( and I love a good epiphany )  and some gentle encouragement and support from Joanne Fedler who was running the workshops this inkling of an idea was born. Originally I was just going to write for myself as a form of therapy , trust me this was not the smartest idea either. Therapy humpphhh. I then again  packed a suitcase  to head to FIJI on a writers retreat to really explore my ideas and  options. I met some amazing writers and women who had such raw stories. It was about this time I thought I should shelve the idea as my self confidence plumetted. Little did I know some of the other  women  were in their rooms feeling the same way. Never one to give up, I thought I would roll the dice and go for one last shot and attended an  authors workshop that Joanne was running in Bondi. This is where things got serious and this is where I really wanted to throw the towel in. I had family and  work commitments, life commitments and a whole lot of other excuses that I could throw out at a moments notice. The strange  thing is I missed writing and a stroke of inspiration presented itself - another sign . I found myself  with a  wonderful block of time to do nothing in my spiritual home , my muse Anglesea. The writing flowed freely and I could see , feel and re live my story. Four years later and here I am, the new age guru's say it's not the destination it is the journey. It has been  a lesson in  patience and  self reflection and I believe I understand myself a whole lot better. Even if I only ever sell a handful of books at least I can say I did it and that feeling of accomplishment is pretty grand.  Now where is that bloody postman with my parcel  :)